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The Rubicon

by SkywardEye

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1.
Welcome to the ending You skipped right through to the last page Was it worth the time saved? Or did you make a mistake? Well I say; Slow down before it's too late The path you're on just ain't that straight You always live for the weekend And when it comes you pretend Like you're okay with decent You're running low on rain cheques But you'll say; Maybe next week I will... Yeah, maybe next week ...I will too I swear I will, I will I will too So get back to the beginning And find the time to start living But all these days can't be replayed And I've come so far in this state But then I think; Maybe this just isn't my fate So chose a path 'cause life won't wait...
2.
Eyes Skyward 03:36
Again I'll try To live the lie But I feel their eyes Trained on me I always know Just what to show But in the end I feel incomplete So jam a square peg Into a round hole Never see that a better fit Is possible Why do we never cease All the opportunities? And refuse to believe We can be so much more? Look to the sky And leave it all behind Your doubts confine So leave them all behind No matter what's outside Leave it all behind You've been in here too long And everything feels wrong So get movin' on! Young girl/old crimes Of a thousand lives I trip and fade With my broke down life So who am I To save your life? We reign divine In its failed design Sustain the choir Of demented fire We sing in rhymes And battle cries So all hail and all rise Like electric light Eyes skyward high And we'll never die Look to the sky And leave it all behind Your soul will fly And leave them all behind No matter what's outside Leave it all behind When you've been afraid so long That everything feels wrong Get movin' on! We're moving on ...YEAH! So look to the sky And leave it all behind Get away from the lies And leave them all behind No matter what's outside Leave it all behind You've been in here too long And everything feels wrong So get movin' on! ...I'm moving on... Get movin' on! ...I'm moving on... Get movin' on! I'M MOVIN' ON!
3.
All I do Is chase the sun Run like hell Not sure what from Feet are bruised Hands are burned Don't know if I'll Soon return... But if I stop There will be hell to pay But to whom I cannot stay I'm slowing down It's what I fear The shadow's behind Are getting near But as I slow I start see The night is when I feel at peace What is this I finally see? Is it the strength that I seek? If it is I cannot lie It arrived Right in the nick of time 'Cause I was starting to Lose the scope And feel at home On a downward slope There is no Life for me here So why do I Hold it so dear? It isolates me From those I love My jaw is clenched And my stomach's fucked AND FOR WHAT? Nothing at all... GO! What is this I see in me? Is it the strength that I seek? Will I stay in this place? Or will it all just drift away? What is this I finally feel? A glimpse of serenity Could this be real? I've waited so long To see you Please, don't leave Or I'm through Oh, I'm so afraid...
4.
Sundown 03:13
Hit the road, headed east Still in search of inner peace "Maybe today's the day..." I say What you think of me matters so More than I'd care to show All I do, I do for you It's true I again begin to feel displaced But can my mind be changed With a few more hollow victories? We'll see Why do I still feel so alone? Is it something that I will outgrow? Maybe then again I'll be inspired To aspire And take that leap of faith? Find a better way? See what I should've seen From the start? There's days when it's all so clear And not obscured by fear What do I see... But all that I've tried to hide Once again swells inside And as shadows wash over me All I want to do is retreat Struggle as I may try Over time I've come to rely So as my will dissolves I fall Again and again and again... Try to fight it As it draws near But in the end You are what you fear Try to fight it As it draws near But in the end You became what you fear I'm becoming what I fear... I've become what I fear
5.
A breath of air A vacant stare Why can't he share That he can't bare This all alone But it's all he knows It's so absurd But he can't find the words God rest the time travellers mind The one who thinks ahead but is always left behind Tragedy's always near but when it works out fine There's still no rest For his mind To himself He does this to And though inside he's screaming He fears the truth That it rules his life ...It is his life And he's content to see A self-fulfilling prophecy... God rest the time travellers mind The one who thinks ahead but is always left behind Tragedy's always near but when it works out fine There's still no rest For my mind ...turn it up God rest the time travellers mind The one who thinks ahead but is always left behind Tragedy's always near but when it works out fine There's still no rest For my mind
6.
They don't see you're empty They don't know how you fight Every day is the same Is this all there is to my life? You're terrified of failing You're angry all of the time Every day it worsens Will this be the end of my life? I don't want to die I'm not ready to do die But I'm not going to lie I am terrified
7.
Dear Enemy 03:23
When push comes to shove And I lay in a pool of my own blood I fear he's coming for me I feel it in my bones The result of a broken home? Or sheer lunacy? So I'll run and hide And bury myself inside And dwell on the black that I see Times' running out The whispers turn to shouts What now could it be? But death never came Though you'd ask him to stay 'Cause all he gives you is free He's the only friend you've known He's got the keys to your home But still he peers through the trees He's watching me... Have you returned? What have I learned? Apparently nothing at all Try as I might There is no respite And peace I can't recall Voices in my head Who follow me to bed Whisper my end is near The sadness pulls and tears So much it can't be repaired I am consumed by fear... But when death never came You felt nothing but shame And you began to realize It's stealing everything you knew So has it broken you? Or will you find the strength inside... To take back your life? Though you try to turn the tide You still feel it inside Why do these doubts still remain? This bridge you must cross But you get so lost When you give in to this pain When death comes some day Well, what will you say? That you let fear rule your life? Or will you take life as it comes And not dwell on what may And leave what was behind Before your last goodbye?
8.
Shields 04:15
Shall I stay or walk away? Head held high or regress again? Or do I pretend to be someone I cannot stand? Will this mask become the man? Is this an improvement? Or am I fine the way I am and it's you who are wrong? I'm tired of being everything To everyone I ever meet I don't know why I feel compelled to act so weak I'm sick of feeling anxious And worrying about how I come across I want to give up control and in time... ...let you in My fear is that I'll die alone Sitting in a silent home So I'll be the doormat that you walk upon In the hopes you'll be a friend One that stays until the end But what use is all of this if I have to pretend? That's not who I am ...not this time! I'm tired of being everything To everyone I ever meet I don't know why I feel compelled to act so weak I'm sick of feeling anxious And worrying about how I come across I need to give up control and in time ...let you in Will you go if I speak up and take a stand? Does it show just how uncertain I am? Let me know if you think that I'm not worth a damn But you don't know... the real man I'm tired of being everything To everyone I ever meet I don't know why I feel compelled to act so weak I'm sick of feeling anxious And worrying about how I come across I know just how to give up control but I need... Oh, I need... ...to let someone in
9.
Polaris 05:50
Sometimes when life gets me down Down I will stay When friends and enemies alike Cause equal parts misery There's so much uncertainty all around It wears me out through and through I feel so close but still so far away Oh, I'm not sure what to do... But when I see her it all goes away And when I touch her I'm home to stay Am I where I am supposed to be? Or am I lost and wandering? The next step obscured in a haze Oh, it really could be anything But with every single day that comes to pass A simple truth occurs to me Two steps forward and then the one step back Is the progress that I seem to need For if I had it all oh, what would be the point? 'Cause I know I already... have all I need Because you know with her you have all that you deserve And with each day that comes you're reassured Because she guides the way without saying a word... She needs no words You are the man you want to be And can have the life that you seek But the only thing that keeps you from seeing Are the same old fears that have ruled your life and still cause you all this strife You are the man you want to be So when will you finally see? That the only thing keeping you from being At peace with yourself and free of the past are things that matter to no one else but you But you But you BUT YOU ...you You are the man you want to be And with her you see That everything will be okay And with her you're safe Because when I see her it all goes away And when I touch her... I'm home
10.
Was this what you call A crisis of faith? When it's not in a God But in yourself? I was unsure of who And where I was So the anger grew And wouldn't ...stop No matter what I couldn't feel Blind is the man who's heart is steel I'd kill myself For nothing at all And stress about Things out of my control I was such a fool For living this way How did I get so lost? I cannot say No matter what I couldn't feel Blind is the man who's heart is steel No matter where I couldn't see How negativity enveloped me So open up wide Take in the outside Why do I hide? Foolish pride? What's so wrong with Believing in yourself? And trusting that Everything will work out well? Day by day by day A chain is forged Before you know it All you want is more Thought by thought by thought A line is drawn Before you know it Your life's come undone I see it now... But through it all I found a friend One that's here until the end What I have with her I hold so dear It gives me the strength to persevere But forgive me For a time may come Where I'm not strong enough ...again
11.
Look at all you've done How far you've come Do you see? What you lost And all it cost To be Where you stand Finally a man? Have you figured it out now? Oh, how you miss the days When your world was safe Before it all Got ripped away But do you see The forest for the trees? Or are you stuck on the leaves? Now when you look back On the past Do you see What it was Or what you need it to be? Too many days Finding ways to live Inside a dream, always But when you see the lie All you do Is try To run and hide And escape the tide But when it hits The world you built Will fade Like footprints in the sand Our lives can change so fast But when we dwell upon the past Sometimes we lose sight of what we have Maybe the good ol' days have gone Maybe we're not as strong But maybe the best is still yet to come... So what will you do When you return to the place That causes you to feel So much pain? Your mind is on fire And there's nowhere to turn You've gotta let it all go Maybe then will you learn... That what once was can haunt us so And those memories affect The way we grow and view ourselves An illusion we accept The pain's passed on to our young Our past becomes theirs So the battle of one will rage on And another lifetime will be spent Overcoming it We are all born the same With a breath and a name Our aim is forged on the collective passions that we acquire uniquely The way we walk and converse Lock down and traverse is juxtaposed between the last and first page Show me the way The heroes journey starts today A little boy susceptible, to the sway; with an internal compass never quite conveyed A story... We all have one that's worth telling On the road and in the rye Our first kiss and when we cry We all want to be the protagonist yet raise our fist at the first thing that makes us sigh I've drifted through the lives of passerby's too afraid to try to be the guy i want to be Dreamt to be For my soul that I should be But the old stories coming to an end, my friend I've sat back as the pages were turned, and learned only what i was confident to But today the bookmark hits the wind... I'm ready to find a page to sink in As you stare into the abyss Your content in your solitude But it pushes away those Who you love and are closest to you But you stick with what you know And as your life passes you by You see those around move on While you cling to the anger inside But look at where you stand The envy of any man Can't you see? The beauty all around And the love that you've found Don't retreat We've got it all wrong Our time here isn't long Before we leave So ask yourself why You're afraid to live your life Presently Maybe then you'd be Truly free Set me free

credits

released May 28, 2015

All songs written, arranged and performed by James Alexander except where noted.

Lyrics by James Alexander except Eyes Skyward, written by James Alexander / Care Failure and Past Lives, Future Self, written by James Alexander / John Poff

Additional performers:

Care Failure - backing and lead vocals on Eyes Skyward
John Poff - spoken word on Past Lives, Future Self
Tracy Tong - piano on Chasing Light, Dear Enemy and Past Lives, Future Self

Produced by Kenta Aoki and James Alexander
Mixed by Kenta Aoki
Mastered by Phil Demetro at Lacquer Channel Mastering
Sleeve photo by Black Umbrella Photography
Art Direction and design by Cody James Finney

Dedicated to my beautiful family. You give me my purpose.

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SkywardEye Toronto, Ontario

SkywardEye is a one man music project by multi-instrumentalist, James Alexander based near Toronto, Ontario.

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